Settlementsweekly

The Settlements mag for sad people who actually care

atest Settlements figures show a marked deterioration in performance. Nowhere is this worse than among the Sentrico supplier IDs.
    Worst affected is DIRE, where overall Settlements performance at RF has dropped below 70%.

    An unnamed source blamed the poor performance at DIRE on the proliferation of Javascript games, which are apparently taking up some 80% of employees' time.
    "It's far more interesting than actually doing work," one employee revealed. When told about the shocking

Settlements figures, another shrugged and asked, "Meh, what are they gonna do - close us?"
    Less clear is the reason for dismal performances at BAGS and NERD, with 83% and 70.1% respectively.
    "We stink," said a NERD minion. "We stink like the skip behind an abattoir on a sunny day."